“Am I table? Yes I am!”: Watch Metallikea’s spoof advert for a leading Swedish home furnishing company

Metal Hammer

It’s fair to say that Lulu, Metallica‘s 2011 collaboration with Lou Reed, is one of the more divisive albums in the San Franciscan band’s esteemed catalogue.

That said, the ‘challenging’ long-player did unite Metallica fans in an unexpected manner, as just about everyone was tickled pink by James Hetfield’s bellow of “I am the table” on The View, a lyric which subsequently spawned one thousand and one memes.

Inspired, no doubt, by that iconic moment of musical history, internet joker Lars von Retriever has crafted a special, and very silly, spoof home furnishing advert for the Hätfield table, a collaboration between Metallica and Ikea, or ‘Metallikea’, if you will. Pivoting around that glorious lyric, the video sees Metallica literally riffing on their Diamond Head cover Am I Evil, with a twist.

My mother was a table,” ‘sings’ James Hetfield. “She was burned alive. Thankless and unstable. For the tears I cried.”

My father was a table, too,” the song continues. “Don’t want to see his face. All blistered and burnt. Can’t hide my disgrace.”


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