Metal Sucks
If you’ve been itching for a way to show your love for indie noise rock band HEALTH during even your most intimate moments, then boy will the band have just the thing for you. Yep, that’s right — we’ve got another case of a band selling something you can (safely) cram up your cornhole.
During their upcoming tour with Author & Punisher and Big Money Cybergrind, HEALTH will have specially branded butt plugs on sale at their merch table. As you can see in the image above, they come in two variants: stainless steel and matte black/rubber, with the band’s logo prominently displayed on the flared base. HEALTH used to give away branded condoms in the past, so this shouldn’t be anything new.
This isn’t at all the first time bands have gotten into the sex toy market. In conjunction with the release of their 2009 album Liebe ist für alle da, Rammstein released a special edition box set of the album that came with six dildos modeled after the band members’ own dicks. Meanwhile, Gwar teamed up with specialty dildo company Bad Dragon to put out a fuckable Cuttlefish of Cthulhu.
HEALTH will be on the road with Author & Punisher and Big Money Cybergrind starting on March 31 in Parsippany, New Jersey and ending on April 15 in San Diego, California. Be sure to check out the dates below to catch those bands live and maybe find something to stuff your butt with.
3/31 Parsippany, NJ – Dark Force Fest (no Author & Punisher)
4/1 Hamden, CT – Space Ballroom
4/2 Washington, DC – Union Stage
4/4 Columbus, OH – A&R Music Bar
4/6 Madison, WI – High Noon Saloon
4/7 Hamtramck, MI – Small’s
4/8 Cleveland, OH – Grog Shop
4/9 Pittsburgh, PA – Thunderbird Music Hall
4/15 San Diego, CA – Music Box (no Big Money Cybergrind)
The post HEALTH Now Has Merch for Your Butthole appeared first on MetalSucks.
MetalSucks – HEALTH Now Has Merch for Your Butthole
Author: Hesher Keenan
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March 17, 2023
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